crossroads...yet again...

I shall attempt to blog in a proper format with capital letters beginning at every sentence.

It's strange, that when you're bored, you tend to over-think things. Well, strange or not, I think it's common. With a bored mind, you tend to imagine the future, recall the past, think of how to escape the present. And army really gives you two years to think of what you want to do in the future, why you did certain things in the past, and why you sit around in the office, or carry a rifle in the jungle, or carrying heavy items.

Army made/is making me think of what to do after I ORD.

So once again, I'm reconsidering the choice of my University course. If it weren't for this dumb thing called National Service, I think I would have been complaining on how stupid I was to choose a double degree in Business and Accountancy at SMU. It's a hot and popular course, with good prospects, but the downside -- very very stressful. I see how SMUggers mug at SMU and i just want to piss my pants! Not only SMUggers but NTUians and NUSians as well. Maybe it's just uni life being 100x more crazy than JC. So much for uni being more slack than JC (I WONDER WHO EVER MADE THAT STATEMENT?!)

So once again, I'm standing at the crossroads (ok lah more like a T-junction), undecided on which career path to take. I currently have a few ideas:

forensic science -- whooh dead bodies, fingerprints!
medicine -- blood and body parts, drugs!
dentistry -- warm, nice-smelling breaths with strange dull-colored teeth
business and accountancy -- earn da big bux at shenton way!

The issue is, why did I ever choose Biz and Acc in the first place? Out of convenience that I didn't research on the different courses? Following the trend, again? Wanting a high-paying job in some bank? Going to school to see hot girls?

I think, I have to do something that I will like, and something that will get me into the high-income club. I can't imagine myself carrying a briefcase walking to meetings. But then again I think travelling around the world doing business is way cool!

Decisions, decisions, decisions...I wonder what will the outcome be. Stay in Singapore, go overseas? Stick to Business and Accountancy, or choose another course? Sometimes I wish I can see the future!!! But of course God has a plan, but there's free will so technically I can't see the future, because that would mean peeking at His plan, and therefore following a pre-programmed life, hence overwriting free will!

Never mind, I still have 1 year and 2 months to ORD. I need to give serious thoughts of this one. This is not some JC subject combinations in which you can just change after first 3 months, or you can just screw up your entire JC life but still make it to a course. THIS IS WHAT I'VE WORKED FOR! At least what I think I've worked for during last year's A levels.

On a lighter note (weighing only 500mg!), I'm currently not staying in, and I'm not too sure if it's a good or a bad thing. Good thing -- stay out gives me freedom!!! Bad things -- wake up early, travel far.

But the only thing I hope is that they grant me the freedom to take the remaining driving lessons. It's about two weeks to that dreaded Traffic Police test. I'm scared, like super scared, but at the same time pretty excited! I can't wait to VROOM VROOM!!!

This post ends here. Roger, over and out.

girl from ipanema!

finally i sort of completed this song that i've been dwelling on for a year! but one year ago i was limited to only acoustic recordings, but now i can do a full band line up! whooh!

and i really love big bang songs! i wish i was in the big band era because big bang music just seems sooooo happy and relaxed! the lyrics as well, they're all happy and everyone's happy!

i dunno how to upload a song onto here...

hi!

due to the negative responses on how my previous post was, i shall never attempt to do such a thing again! but it was 2am and i was tired and then u start writing and doing nonsense when u're tired.

when there was team rally on monday, i was looking for the answers to "what am i doing here? what am i going to do? why do i do what i'm doing?" they can be summarised into one word -- vision. what's my vision? what will i do for the next 5 years in church or in life?

one thing's for sure i'm left with 1 year and 2 months in the army, and time really flies so sooner or later i'll ORD. as much as i want to ORD, i'm still fearful of what's to come. i enjoy my army life cos it's so slack and relaxing it gives me time to think. but the clock's ticking and i dont have much time to find the answers to the questions. i'm not too sure if i'd ever want to go into business. i mean it's the trend that young people follow. last time it was electronics, then engineering, now business! what's next? moreover it seems the financial market's a real mess, then what's the point of studying so hard for a degree in which may not get u as far as the seniors did? i mean i would love to earn a handsome 5-digit salary per month, but i dont think it's easy or even possible?

so the clock ticks, and i've been thinking of other ways. overseas study? but then again, what will i study? as much as i want to go to the states to study, there're other factors that make me want to stay back in this country i call home. ministry, family, friends, etc. some things are just hard to leave behind.

but anyway, back to the team rally! u know there's a point of time whereby u've served a long time and there're times whereby u want to give up, quit, start somewhere else. many reasons why people want to do so -- lack of faith, spiritual dryness, lack of focus, boredom. i would say i had faced some of these moments, during these 2 years 10 months serving as a musician. i get bored easily, and recently i've been thinking of my vision in the team. why are we doing the same thing for weeks and weeks? services week in and week out, camps every twice a year, ESS 2-3 times a year. there's got to be more than just standing on stage with my guitar and playing some chords and solos! i know it's easy to say "hey why don't you help out in this...or that" or maybe like "oh maybe you could do this to help". the point is i dont want to see myself doing the same thing for the next 50 years of my life! there's got to be something else than just playing chords!

so i felt a lack of focus at that time, bored at what i was doing, didnt trust that God would place events that would help to spur me on.

but oh how on time God's word came! he's never late, nor is he early (kinda like what gandalf said in LOTR). i believed the word for me was "persevere". as we played the song "O How I Long", mama jac (serving the longest for 15 years!) encouraged everyone as she shared on how sometimes she felt like giving up, and felt angry at God for doing things/not doing things, but she still held on to God's promises because she made the decision to. whoah man! that's the very answer i needed. although i may have served for 1/5 of the number of years she did, i still think we faced pretty much the same thoughts. "what is God doing for me? what's going to happen? what am i seeing such things? what am i doing? why am i doing this?"

i guess i made the decision to serve, and i will stick to that decision. that's why my blog's called "called to serve". i have the talents for music, and i'm called to serve the maker who gave me these talents (eh don't play play man, talent power sia). but i hope as i continue to serve, which i will for the next 50-60 years, God will give me new visions and new territories, new people, new leadership etc.

as for now, the only thing i'll see myself become in the next 3-5 years, is probably a leader in wam? i think many of the current leaders may move on by then, so i'd probably rise up then? who knows maybe i will, or maybe i'll go overseas for study and help out with the church over there.
one day, i would want to be a pnw leader, not because it's cool or what but i think i can do something like it.

oh well, so the quest for saving up for a PRS still continues...

oops wrong topic! i meant the quest for a quest continues. will our hero find a quest during this quest? ok i meant i want to find a vision for me.

hello!

looks like my blog was getting dead! haven't updated in a while, but i doubt it's interesting and that anyone would actually bother coming here. but oh well it's just for me to practise my writing skills so that i dont become completed retarded in the army.

*disclaimer: close this page if you have an average IQ or above average. i dare you to read the bottom!

ephraim: hi simon.
simon: hello ephraim.
simon: nice to meet you yong sheng.
yong sheng: well hello you guys!

ephraim: hey! did you guys go for tommy emmanuel's concert on wednesday? i thought it was great!
yong sheng: definitely! how could i ever missed him? i went last year too at the esplanade. sound was much better! but this year i was sitting right at the front! i could almost touch him! and he was looking at me for some parts!!! whooh!!!
simon: how can i be a better guitarist guys? i want to play like him!
ephraim and yong sheng: practise more?
simon: anyway, i'm looking forward to the driving test! it's like in 5 weeks time! i'm ready to go and face some fussy old man driving instructor! hope i can pass!

cpl tan: oi you guys stop talking so much cock! the govt pays u $400 to sit around office and talk rubbish ar? downstairs very dirty, go do area cleaning!
everyone else: but corporal, encik and sir not around, do for what? we dont want to clean, let us play psp, or use i-net!

ephraim: eh simon, are you going to get a new electric guitar?
simon: i dunno leh, now economy so jialat, and i just got a new keyboard! i've recorded one more new song with reiz already. jay chou's caihong.
yong sheng: oh man i so love that song! i'm so cheena, my name is cheena, and i love cheena songs. send it to me!

everyone: book out lor!

simon: i'm going home to sleep! been up so late for the past few nights. all my pimples coming out liao, sian ji pua!
yong sheng: bye guys!