yay!

haha! PW is finally over for now! gosh was damn tired! and i need to catch up with my tutorials! gonna be hell next week, econs timed assignment and chem test! sian lah and i havent started my revision. too much things going on lah, PW, class test, lecture test etc.

today was a very sian day in school, as usual all thursdays are like that. but i slept the whole GP and bio tutorials. hehe.

we didnt have PE because michael wont didnt come, but we still played bball! whooh! we played full court with an extended team, and it was damn tiring. i only scored 2 goals. i'm damn lousy but reihorng is coaching me! he's so pro!

and guess what? i'm training now! under the coaching and advice of mr mak chan keet, i'm going to attempt to build my body! hard to believe but i'm trying! need to get rid of this bag of bones and make them a bag of potatoes! hehe...and uchi is like a bag of bones too! " "

and yesterday, while going home, i did a stupid, unintentional and embarrassing thing. my bus suddenly came, then i realised and flagged it while running. i didnt noe my hand was near the metal poles, so i still ran, and BANG! my arm whacked the pole lah! damn pain! i was like "ARH! SHIT SHIT!" then i think ppl were laughing at me! so embarrassing! but fortunately managed to catch the bus hehe

and there was another embarrassing moment on the MRT last year. when i was waving goodbye to my pals, i stood at the door, peak hour mah. then i waving bye bye, then the stupid door closed on me!
it slammed right into my face and hit my specs. luckily i moved back quickly! damn pain lah! so many ppl laughing at me!

argh, embarrassing moments! hehe

the waste is cleared and flushed down the toilet bowl

YES! the storm's gone, the shit is flushed! everything is back to normal!

sorry if i sounded too gloomy (DAMN GRANDPA JUST FARTED AGAIN DAMN SMELLY!) or too dark or trying to draw attention in my previous post, but i feel that a blog is smth that we write out our feelings. i'm human ok!

but right now i'm ok, back to my strong, fit, healthy, cheerful, happy, jovial, cute self again! did i say cute? HAHA!

so sorry to those who worried but i'm recharged once again after much talking and sharing with jerel and others. thx guys really needed it!

now i'm not sooo tired, and coping well wif my studies now! mauahaha!

bye!

shit happens

there's lot of shit going on in my life now i just want to KO and just drop down dead on the floor! it's a re-enactment of what happened 3 weeks ago when i was about to KO again!

there's maths test this friday, i can say i studied for differentiation and integration but i noe i'm going to fail. 100% fail. why? because i suck i'm a dumb piece of shit everytime i study and try my best i still come back with crap! sometimes i ask myself why too! why the hell am i in HC? i want to cry and just...just...ARGH!

monday was anni prac, came home 12.30am, tues was WAM night, came home 11, studied till 12.30, today's wed, came home at 7pm, chionged EOM, prepared for music prac. tmr has music prac, will reach home 11, no time to study.
CONCLUSION: i will fail my maths no matter what!

sometimes i wonder, am i serving for God or has it gradually become a chore, a duty? something that u'll go "AIYA sian la! go la quickly come back". deep down it's still something that i do for the one who loves me. but sometimes when the going gets tough, all u can say is "WHY? wat's happening?"

besides my tired self (i slept for 5hours consectively 3 days, sleep in lectures blah blah), he had to make it worse by like giving me shit, too much testing! i cant take it!

like wat happened yesterday, on my bday. my mom called me to wish me happy bday, i cried because i miss her. GUESS WAT? at night, after a few hours, she called me all the way from china just to scold me the same shit that i have been receiving for the past few months! i mean, come on! i'm 17 i noe wat to do just trust me i'm trying very hard ok!
i apologised, but i still feel that certain things are beyond my reach, that wat makes me want to break down and cry.

i'm excited to minister to souls and gain rewards, but at the same time i just cannot be recharged and do the work of a normal student. i mean, all my other classmates have no church commitment? i still have my music theory to study for man! when i joined the ministry, i noe these thigns will come, i'm excited for these, i want them, i want to see how i can overcome them. but i dunno why some ppl think it's easy to come home at 11pm, not feeling sleepy after a shit day of school, sit down and study for 2 hours. i mean, playing music, so wat? so wat? it's not easy doing a task of that! as much as i want to study, i just cant because sometimes i just really cant do it. i noe a student is meant to study, and a musician to play, wat about a mix of both? cant do both?

and guess wat? i dun even have time for myself. i dun watch TV, i dun play computer games, i dun learn my crazy rock guitar songs, i dun even go out after church to chill. what do i do? i try to spend my time studying. u see! i TRY TO STUDY! i WANT TO STUDY! oh man i'm just going to break down one day, all this things going on...

but God works for the good of those who love Him. am i really starting to treat service as a chore? is this a period of testing, or is this a time i should take a long long break and recharge? or will i even backslide? scary man, these kind of thoughts that i have, but it's human nature after all.

and to add on to the shit, my family's not in Singapore, i'm staying with my aunt, my grandma's a real irritating old woman who keeps asking about everything and anything and IS SOOO DAMN DEAF. i mean, get a hearing aid!

i noe this post seems damn whiny, complainy, bitchy, meany, watever la. i'm just penning down my thoughts about all the shit that's going on this week, and the weeks to come, and in future. i just want to get out of it. i dun want to backslide, i dun want to retain.

oh yes i just remembered, i may want to drop a subject next year. i cant take it anymore! i noe one friend who wants to drop too. hmmm...

but anyway, on a lighter, happier note, i thank all those who remembered my bday! i'm one more year from becoming 18! thx for the celebrations, the songs, the cards, the gifts etc! i appreciate it! but for now, i have to take another 5hours to recharge my batteries again.

bye!

It's party time!

WHOOH! I'M FINALLY 17! WISH ME HAPPY BDAY QUICK!

and to Chris, sorry i forgot to include ur pubic name! i mean, i hate this kind of things, because i will sure forget someone and i remembered putting ur name but it disappeared! :O did u hide it in ur hair?

anyway, yesterday was crap! woke up ONE HOUR late! i set the alarm clock at 6.40 instead of 5.40! wah panic sia! but took a cab and reached at 7.15 just nice!
things that seem bad turn out good! siva didnt see us for ponning 15min of his BORING PW lesson! whew!

and my pedalboard looks damn good and sounds damn good! had anni prac just now, my new SD1 modded 808 just sooo rocks! i'm starting to diss the distortion unit on my J&H pedal! hmmm should i sell? get a gt2! lol

tmr's a busy day, i mean, later, lol. sooo many ppl wished me happy bday that i cant count! lemme try to remember...
ck, robert, toon, samuel, jerel, daniel, yao guo, small gwen, jiayi, jiemin, jolene, yk, yushu, yueqi, yuting, ah crap! mental block! many many la! hahaha and if u havent, FEEL GUILTY! MUAHAHAH

ok i shall go sleep now! bye!

Little did i noe...

today is the last night with my mom and my younger sis. sadly, 4mths have passed since my dad left. i remember vividly the times we had with my dad, but sadly, the times i shared wif my mom and my younger sis are more. that's make it harder to leave and say goodbye.

oh well, i may seem like a jovial person, funny, cracking jokes, but deep down i'm actually a very serious person, who puts others before him. i dont want to see my mom suffer in a foreign land, but i noe for sure that there's someone looking down on us, watching us sleep, blessing us every moment. He is God, no doubt, the creator of the heavens and the earth.

so i would like to thank these ppl in advance for their support in rough times, and as the bible says, do not worry about tmr, let tmr worry about itself. i wont worry i'm sure, because the lord is my shepherd, He leads me beside quiet waters, and His staff and rod comfort me as i walk thru the shadow of the valley of death! it's very comforting, my Father in heaven. ok havent thank yet, but i would like to thank:
my beloved YWAM CG, and jerel my shepherd
my beloved ex-HC CG, for being with me in school
my pals, leon, sam, ryan and robert in church
my good frens in class, toon, ck, ivan, reiz, robert
my sec4 frens, hongyi, yushu, tengen, lenard, wilson, yingcheng, boon, feng, chunrui etc sorry if i forget ur name it's so many!
all those who love me and want me to be strong!

well i'm sure this post is a short one, but i'll blog more i promise. bye!

Internet! wow!

wow i tell u technology is damn advanced that my parents can quarrel online via a webcam! haha it's damn funny if u think like that!

anyway school's tmr! it feels like a sunday today! but it's gonna be a busy week ahead! there's econs ILP due on monday, tues is the mock court session and my bday, and there's maths test on friday!

damn! so much to do, so little motivation!

haiz i wish i had the remote in click! hehe...but then maybe not, i'll end up dead like him and end up fat! LOL. but it's a nice show man! i cried during the 2 sad parts! hehe

bye~

Kaox! new speakers! =D

in order to celebrate the birth of a wonderful, fine, nice, caring, great, smart, cute (all the good things u name it) boy called Simon Tan, my mom bought me a nice set of creative speakers that have a subwoofer! it's sooo powerful! and iut goes for a whooping $100 only! so cheap for the quality!

anyway so many ppl have their bday's in august! and mine's significant because it's the day when japan surrendered in the pacific some 61 years ago! and korea's national day! so happening man!

and our country's national day is coming! but sadly, there's sooo much work to catch up and tests to study for! i dont think i'll enjoy it!

but oh well...bye!

Everything to be moved...

i'm going to shift to pasir panjang in just a few hours, and i'm going to miss my home in lentor. haiz...it feels damn weird for my uncle's family to 'invade' my house, intruding my privacy, littering my house wif their bags of stuff (DAMN MESSY LA!) and blah blah...

why must all this happen? take away my parents, put me with my aunt, leave me alone with my elder sis, in a foreign home...haiz sometimes i wish i know why! i dont want more pocket money, i dont want more freedom, i just want a family...

ok sorry if this post seems too emotional but for those of ya with a complete family, pls treasure them, because u never know what will happen. learn to appreciate what ur parents do for u, and control, dont always think they nag but it's good.

for the next 3 years, i wont get any nagging (maybe online la via webcam LOL) but oh well, it's time for me to be independent. going to be 17 in 10 days! *hinthintiwantabballhinthint*

ok to a lighter note, we went to seoul garden yesterday, and i went to cartel on thurs! been eating so much larh! getting so much fat on my belly! must train harder.

and ytd afternn, we were released early! at 1.30! but i was falling asleep in chem tut la :P so we played bball again! i love playing it and learning from reiz, pubes and ck! so fun la! hehehe...i'm improving my shooting also, and my lay ups, although i'm short but reiz is damn pro hahaha...anyway there's NB svc later! so excited for the extended PnW! yay to all those who crossed over to eternity! :D

ok la must finish packing. i think cant bring all my stuff la but i can come home and take them! home is lentor! lentor is home! pasir panjang is temp home, then bukit timah! bukit timah sux it's sooo damn ulu there's no mrt! :@

bye!